3 Lies I Believed as a Teenage and College Girl
I talk with teenage and college girls all the time about the different struggles they face during these tough years of middle school, high school, and college. As we talk, I’m always brought back to my similar struggles during those years. I wanted to share just a few of those struggles that I faced when I was navigating those tough years.
So, here are a few lies I believed as a teenage and college girl:
Lie #1. I’m not pretty enough.
This was a CONSTANT lie that ran through my head. I just never EVER thought I was pretty enough. I wasn’t skinny enough. My clothes weren’t cute enough. My skin was for sure never clear enough. All my friends were prettier. This is how I felt, and these are just a few of the continual thoughts I had roll through my mind.
Have you ever felt this way? Let’s talk for a second though…who decides this “enough” standard? Where was I getting this idea that I wasn’t pretty enough? Well, definitely TV. Social media. Magazines. The girls around me. I saw all these ideal images EVERYWHERE, and I just felt like I could never measure up.
And honestly, when I finally got to the point where I thought my appearance would finally be “enough” it never satisfied that emptiness that I thought it would. I thought hitting a certain number on the scale would be the be-all-end-all where I found that magical, total satisfaction, and it wasn’t. Nothing ever was. Why? Because these were false standards of “enoughness.”
Something shifted in me when I started realizing that these standards of “enoughness” were not God’s standards. These weren’t the standards I needed to strive for. These standards spewed out by our culture are NOT MY STANDARDS to live by.
I began focusing my attention on God’s standards for my life, rather than the world’s standards, and I found great freedom. He doesn’t look on the outward appearance. He looks at the heart. I didn’t make that up…that truth comes straight from Scripture:
“The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
What a sigh of relief! I found that when I focused less on my outward appearance, I actually felt much more confident. Seems ironic, but my obsession ceased, and instead I obsessed over Jesus. In Him, I’ve found greater confidence than I could have ever imagined.
Lie #2. I’m never going to get a guy.
Okay, hold up, this lie is just annoying.
First of all, you don’t need a guy to complete you or fulfill you. Don’t worry, I’m not a feminist talking here. I think men serve a very important and unique role in each of our lives. BUT, we don’t need to strive after “getting a guy.” Each one of us can be completely and totally satisfied, living full and meaningful lives without EVER “getting a guy.” So, girlfriend, please know that a guy is not your greatest reward in life.
Second of all, stop trying to “get” a guy. A young man who is worthy of your attention will pursue you in a respectful and gentlemanly way. Men should step into this role. We should not be the pursuers in relationships. I wasted way too many years obsessing over guys and trying to get their attention. Man, oh, man! I wish that I had not been so completely distracted by winning guys’ attention during those years. The type of guy that makes you “win” his attention is not worth the effort. A man of God, on the other hand, will see you seeking after God, and he will pursue you because YOU are pursuing Jesus. <– that’s the kind of guy you want to “get.”
Girl, please don’t be like me and waste your time crushing on 7 different guys at the same time, trying so hard to get those boys’ attention. Keep your eyes on Jesus and off of those teenage boys. You’ll be happier in the long run. Trust me. It wasn’t until I started seeking Jesus with my full affection that I attracted the type of guy who truly valued that. My husband, Sam, will tell you that it’s because of my fire for Jesus that he was attracted to me. I’m glad that’s the kind of guy I attracted, because it could have been very different. (Praise hands, all day long!)
Lie #3. A guy won’t date me if I have high purity standards.
GOOD! If a guy won’t date you because of your standards, then WEED THOSE GUYS OUT, honey! That is the perfect way to determine if a guy is worthy of your time…lay out those standards and see if he walks away. If he does, then you just saved yourself a lot of trouble. If he stays and admires you for those standards, then keep him around awhile.
A young man who values your purity is a young man who actually values you.
These are just a FEW of the MANY lies I believed during those years…
Can you relate? Comment and share how you’ve struggled in these same areas.
What are some other lies you believe? I’d love to tackle some of the questions that might come up when you’re dealing with these many lies jumbling around in your head.
Much love girlies!