To the Christian girl who’s figuring out how to date…

I think we have a bit of an issue when it comes to Christian girls and their view of dating.

If you ask any of the girls who have been in one of my small groups or youth groups, they will tell you that I love talking about boys! I think it’s fun. I like to find out who girls have crushes on and why. I like to hear about their dates, and I always ask if they’ve kissed!

Here’s the thing: I’m ALL FOR DATING! I’m actually a big proponent of dating. But, I’m afraid we are SO NOT DOING IT RIGHT.

We have these 2 extremes, that I just don’t believe are working. Actually, I KNOW they’re not working.

On one side, we have the “worldly” way of dating. Hooking up, having sex, leading each other on, using each other, etc.

(Acting like you’re married in the physical side of the relationship.)

On the other side, we have the “Christian” way of dating. Committing to a significant other as if you’re married, sharing your deepest secrets, giving the control of all your emotion to the other, intertwining your spiritual hearts the moment you meet someone, etc.

(Acting like you’re married in the spiritual and emotional side of the relationship.)

I hear youth leaders and well-intentioned people say, don’t date someone unless you know you could marry them. I get it. I understand the logic, but I think it’s messing with our girls. They start thinking about marrying a boy they just met, and they start giving themselves in relationships as if this guy is their husband. NOT OKAY. I think we’ve done our kids a disservice by convincing them that relationships need to be so serious.

Here’s what I say: If you know you’d NEVER marry that guy, then don’t date him.

i.e. If he’s not a believer, DON’T date him. If his character is lacking, DON’T date him.

BUT, you don’t have to KNOW you’re going to marry him. That’s absurd.

Here’s what I think we need to start telling our teenagers:

Date for fun. Dating is about building friendship.

Be serious about your purity, but don’t be so serious about relationships.

Why are our teens getting into these deeply committed relationships at fourteen, where they give themselves over in what I often refer to as “emotional sex” — opening their hearts in a way that just isn’t appropriate. Why?

What ever happened to going on dates for fun? Good, wholesome, fun dating. Enjoying each other’s company. Finding out if you like spending time with someone.

Why do we have to DTR so soon these days?

When I met my husband as a freshman in college, I didn’t know if I wanted to marry him right away. (He says he knew he wanted to marry me…😌) Instead, I got to know him. We went on dates for 7 months before we DTR’d — AND BEFORE WE EVEN KISSED. He took me dinner. He wrote me notes. We ate breakfast together at Cafe Cappuccino every week. We shot baskets together. We worked out. We watched TV. We laughed. We talked.

ALL BEFORE WE DEFINED ANYTHING. We became best friends.

And, guess what, I even went out on a date with a guy or two in the midst of it all! 😱

Good, wholesome, not-so-serious dating needs to make a comeback.

Christian girls, we need to stop getting SO CRAZY about committing too soon. We need to stop pouring out our souls to guys who just don’t deserve our hearts like that. We need to take our purity seriously and not throw ourselves around at guys who aren’t going to stay for the long-haul.

Test the guys in your life. Just spend time with them. Date for fun to get to know people. See if you actually like their friendship. See if a guy sticks it out when he knows you’re not gonna throw your body around like a hot commodity.

THEN, and only then, can you determine if you MIGHT want to marry someone. Then, and only then, should you DTR.

But, let’s chill out a bit. Stop over-complicating things. Stop over-dramatizing relationships. (If you’re fighting every other day with a boyfriend, get out. That’s just silliness. Your relationship shouldn’t look like an episode of Gossip Girl.) Stop making things so overly-serious. Stop acting like your boyfriend is your husband. He’s not. Don’t give your heart and body over to him like he is.

And guys, how about y’all man-up just a bit and ask a girl out on a date. Stop leading on, stop playing games. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

My dating philosophy: Be serious about your purity but not so serious about relationships.

** I hope you enjoyed the throwback pictures! **

Love,

Trish

The Unwasted Life NOONDAY Giveaway

Hi friends!!

I’m partnering with my friend, Victoria Brown, who is a Noonday Ambassador for an amazing Noonday Giveaway!

Here’s all that you have to do:

  1. Order a copy of The Unwasted Life on Amazon
  2. Fill out the Giveaway Form
  3. EVERYONE who enters will receive an exclusive 15% promo code for three of the BEST SELLING Noonday items.
  4. You will be entered to win the Wildflower Clutch & the Forestry Ear Climbers!

Stay tuned to find out who will be the lucky winner!!

*Giveaway Ends Wednesday, January 3rd*

>>ORDER THE UNWASTED LIFE<<

>>ENTER GIVEAWAY<<

>>START SHOPPING WITH YOUR 15% OFF CODE<<

To the girl who feels like she’s wasting her life away…

I remember sitting down with a girl who looked me in the eyes and said,

“Tricia, I feel like I’m merely existing. I feel like I’m wasting my life away.”

I totally understood what she was talking about, because I remember feeling that way too. I remember leaning back on a recliner one day in my house, looking up at the ceiling, and thinking, “what is life really about…”

I felt like I was chasing after all the wrong things in life. Everything I thought would make me feel like life was worthwhile, came up short every single time.

Like Solomon says in Ecclesiastes, everything in life felt meaningless.

Then, God starting teaching me how to live a life that was eternally significant. He showed me how to get past merely surviving, and really start thriving. 

In my new book, The Unwasted Life, a ten-week Bible Study, I share how to start living an eternally significant life.

And, here’s a hint: It’s not about striving and doing and wearing yourself out. The Unwasted Life is about resting and abiding and surrendering.

Does this sound good to you?? Do you want to really start THRIVING in life? Do you want to stop hustling so much, and instead start surrendering? Do you want to stop merely existing and begin experiencing the life to the fullest described in Scripture?

Join me and a community of women as we study The Unwasted Life together on Facebook.

Join the group:

>>HERE<<

Be sure to order your copy of The Unwasted Life:

HERE!!

Examine How You’re Following Christ

Each week in The Unwasted Life, I encourage readers with a fasting prompt for 3 days that week. I do this to help you eliminate the waste in your life and to encourage you to sacrifice for Christ.

We make sacrifices every single day for the things & people that we love. We sacrifice extra sleep to work out, get dressed, eat breakfast, scroll through our instagram. We sacrifice money to shop, for Starbucks, for music, for ourselves. We sacrifice time for friends, for family, for ourselves, for Netflix. We sacrifice energy for school, for play, for sports, for entertainment.

When was the last time you really sacrificed your time, energy, agenda, money, sleep, etc for JESUS?

Let’s stop wasting our lives for things that just don’t matter in the grand scheme of life, and let’s start sacrificing for Jesus in order to live a life unwasted.

ORDER THE UNWASTED LIFE

Hearing the Voice of God

The mark of a mature believer is one who hungers after the Word of God.
Sadly, I’m afraid we have a plethora of malnourished believers walking around.
When we forsake spending time in the Word, we starve ourselves of the nourishment that God longs to give us.
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What voices are you listening to? It all comes back to what you’re taking in. What are you feeding on?
Social media?
Opinions of others?
Gossip?
Locker room talk?
Discouragement?
Disappointments?
It’s time we start feasting on the Word of God. The riches at His table, rather than the junk at the world’s drive-thru.
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Who’s ready to feast with me on the Word of God? Grab your copy of THE UNWASTED LIFE on Amazon today, and you’ll find an entire section about tasting and feasting on the Lord’s goodness.
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PS: Who wants to do an online study group with teaching videos from me??
Give me a 🙋🏼 if you’re in!

ORDER THE UNWASTED LIFE

The World’s Measuring System

For a long time I was measuring and marking myself by the world’s measuring system. But God doesn’t measure by the world’s system.
Your list of accomplishments.
Your list of failures
ALL FADE AWAY IN THE EYES OF GOD. These lists just don’t matter.
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No success, accolade, or accomplish will ever bring you the identity or worth you’re searching for.
No failure, no insult, no lost friendship, mistake, heartbreak, low GPA, or WHATEVER can strip you of the identity and worth that is solely found in Christ.
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When everything else loses it’s power to measure and determine our worth, rather than ebbing and flowing with the ups & downs of successes and failures, we will remain steady and sure, FOUND IN CHRIST.
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Friend, are you tired of sliding up & down on the scale of worth that this world demands we stand on? Are you tired of being controlled by this ever-changing measuring system?
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We find freedom when all those things lose their weight, and we rest in being found in Christ alone.
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Join me in reading THE UNWASTED LIFE, as we journey to find the way to live in this freedom. ❤️
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What’s on your success list? What’s on your failure list? What is it that’s chaining you to the world’s scale of worth? Would you mind sharing below? What do you measure yourself by?👇🏼
ME:
What I measure myself by:
– How much I DO for God, rather than BEING with God.
– What others think of me.
– How much prettier others are.
– How much better others seem.

ORDER THE UNWASTED LIFE

The Unwasted Pre-Order Gift Info

Release date: DECEMBER 1st!!

By pre-ordering, you will receive a FREE copy of the e-version of From Empty to Full! This is an exclusive, never-before-released Bible Study about finding Jesus as your sole satisfaction!

In order to claim your pre-order gift of From Empty to Full, email a picture of your receipt to:

theunwastedlifebook@gmail.com

Partner with the Girls’ Club of Tulsa

You all know that I have a HUGE HEART for teenage girls. I wholeheartedly desire for girls to know Jesus, to live a life the honors Jesus, and to experience the joy that a life with Christ brings.
 
DURING THE MONTH OF OCTOBER, I have the PRIVILEGE of partnering with the GIRLS CLUBS IN TULSA!!
 
For every Cultivating a Life of Joy devotional you buy, I will donate another to the girls participating in the Girls’ Clubs of Tulsa.
 
I am praying wholeheartedly that we will be able to bless MANY, MANY girls with the Truth of God’s Word by providing them with this devotional book.
 
Will you be a part of ministering to the girls in my area by buying a devotional yourself?
 
PLEASE SHARE with as many of your friends as possible! I want to make a difference in the lives of these girls!! Please be a part!!
 
BUY THE DEVOTIONAL HERE:
https://www.amazon.com/Cultivating-Life-Joy-Simple-Ways/dp/1975815653/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1507754252&sr=8-1&keywords=cultivating+a+life+of+joy
 
OR HERE:
https://www.createspace.com/7480751