Today’s Spotify Playlist:
I Am Not Alone by Kari Jobe
Find You Here by Ellie Holcomb
Isolation Breeds Self-Pity
By: Taylor Tate
Isolation breeds self pity…before diving into this subject matter, I would love to share about my personal experiences with this topic. First of all, as a recovering people pleaser (grateful for Jesus and hearing Jennie Allen speak on the topic), my world has always found its way to revolve around the attention I receive from others. If I am receiving good attention, I feel like a worthy human being, if I am receiving negative attention, or even worse…no attention at all, I feel simply, lost. This, my friends, is not a healthy mindset and I fully admit that. However, it is easier to point out the things that are unhealthy in our lives than to put actions into place to enlist the needed changes. This summer I fully admit to living out this topic, I completely pitied myself. I am recently married and absolutely adore my husband. However, the nature of my husband’s job lends for major summer traveling. With this in mind, I recently graduated from college where I lived with five other women and was surrounded by people I knew and felt at home with. Therefore, this past summer was the first time I was not actively living and interacting with people who knew me the best and sadly during those long months, I felt like I had lost who I was due to self pity. I am providing this background information not for attention but to highlight the fact that I need this devotional most likely more than anyone else reading it.
As Tricia highlights, we all “long to belong,” and I could not agree more with this statement because a summer without loved ones made me feel like I did not have a place. As I am reading these thoughts of mine, nearly every statement starts with “I,” and I simply wonder, “Who am I to say that my life doesn’t have a place solely because I feel sorry for myself that no one is taking notice of me?” Thinking thoughts like this absolutely have to hurt my Savior who created me with love and tenderness and ultimately died on a cross and rose again for my sinful life. So friends, after several long months of coming home sad after work, and a few counseling sessions later, I decided to pray. I prayed for several things. Honestly, I prayed that I would be content with isolation to the point that I would seek Jesus before all else, and I prayed for community. I prayed hard for ways in which I could fall and feel caught by members of the church. I eventually found that community and am so grateful to say that the Lord answered my cry. As for praying for contentment during the isolation, it was hard, but I promise that Jesus needed to fill me first before I could ever feel held. Our Savior is faithful, let him hold you today.
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:22